Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
