I wish you could order shots online.
I'm passing your future prison.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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