I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
