he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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