no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
