I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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