Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
