Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
