Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
