They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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