after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
as a side note pls kill me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
