we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
