brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Boobs are out for the taking
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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