Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
