i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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