try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She needs sedatives and a leash
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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