You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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