I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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