she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
