I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
