The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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