I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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