I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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