I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
