Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
