I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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