If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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