All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
