someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the liver wants what the liver wants
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
