Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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