My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
