But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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