i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
