I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
