I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
