He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
