Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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