hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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