i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
