i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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