i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
