I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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