Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
