I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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