I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize