I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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