im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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