just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you inspire me to be a worse person
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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