Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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