on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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