next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
