You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
