my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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