It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
