Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
sarcasm needs its own font
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
