Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
