Say something about gay babies.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
