...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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