i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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