He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
