I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like eating out sand paper
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
