So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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