I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
