hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm both gender and math confused
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
