so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
