I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
