I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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